How Time Goes SO Fast!
Well it was one year ago today that grandma, A and I headed to Toronto Sick Kids for his sleep study and ended up admitted. I can’t believe how fast time goes and that it has already been a full year! It feels like yesterday that we were there.
In great news, A’s dietitian was here yesterday and he has gained TWO pounds in just under a month!!!!!!! He has not gained ANY weight in 13months so this is awesome. Nothing has changed except for the type of formula that he is on (we recently switched to Peptamen Jr) hoping that it would help with his emptying and possibly help him with sleeping. Peptamen is much more broken down than the Nutren Jr he has been on. So we are thinking that his body his metabolizing this new stuff MUCH better and letting him gain weight. We will have another weigh in, in three weeks time to see what it is like then.
A’s sleep has been improved this week which I shouldn’t mention because I always seem to jinx myself, but I am hoping that this will continue. I’ll tell you, ever since November it has been a nightmare and can’t be healthy for him nor for I!
This week we have also noticed a LOT more gagging with him. I am not too sure what this is from, but yesterday it was pretty constant and frustrating. Last night at 6:30pm he also had one of his new big spells that he has not had since my birthday on December 12th. They are so scary and I just wish that someone would figure out what on earth is going on with him when he does these.
As for some better news, A continues with his constant babbling. It is SO cute and daddy and I just laugh all the time at him because it is like he really thinks that he is talking. There are definitely new sounds that we are hearing and this is so exciting. Last night it sounded like he was saying “I could”. We are also hearing “b”, “d” and “n” sounds. And actually today is his 18month hearing age so we are hoping for more from him down the road. Like mama!
Understanding. It is really starting to show. Last night he was laying on the floor and daddy was on the couch. I would say “where is daddy?” and he would turn to look and smile. Then I would say “where is hockey?” and he would look at the TV. I kept going and he was just turning back and forth constantly!
As well when someone comes into the house he immediately starts babbling on and on and gets very excited. Yesterday he was doing some OT with his therapist (sitting) and grandma walked in. Well he immediately started babbling and smiling. I really think he is starting to recognize WHO people are.
This kid LOVES hockey. It doesn’t even matter what team is playing, if he sees it on the TV then he wants to watch it. If you are changing the channels and you put it on a hockey game and then change it again, he will complain until you put it back. It is very cute. Well most of the time! haha Gets a bit frustrating when you want to watch a show but he does NOT want to. Seems that he is getting his way VERY much lately! Who wouldn’t give this adorable guy his own way though????
In my last bit of exciting news!!!
Yes, we are pregnant again! This came as a HUGE shock to both of us but we are thrilled now that things have settled in. As you all know, I had a miscarriage on November 18th at about 5.5weeks. Well around Christmas I started to wonder why I had not gotten a period yet. Thought nothing much of it though but it was in the back of my mind. Pregnancy by the way was the LAST thing I was thinking! haha Aunt K had even asked me on Boxing Day if I could be pregnant and I said “no way!” Well December 30th I did a pregnancy test just for the heck of it and sure enough it was positive. Had NO IDEA how far along or anything. Especially since we had decided we were going to wait until after my brother and his fiance get married in May.
So I go to my doctor yesterday. He tells me that it is probably very unlikely that I am pregnant and that the positive result could be meaning that I had some tissue left over from the miscarriage. He said that you usually do not get pregnant IMMEDIATELY after a miscarriage. Well I told him that if I wasn’t then something was wrong because I have been very nauseous this week. So he sends me downstairs for blood work to check my HCG levels and tells me he will call me Monday.
Well I get a call this morning from him. My levels are 56,000!!! He said that puts me about six weeks. So I go for an ultrasound today at 2pm. Well I am 7 weeks and 3 days! We got to see the little peanut and its heart rate was 148. Very cool! So my due date is August 25th….lets pray that this baby waits until August!!!!
I am at the end ….
Sorry I have not updated since last week. Well Tuesday morning daddy and I got to the hospital at 8am. A was sitting up in his wheelchair watching TV. He looked good but then I noticed he didn’t have an IV!!!! The nurse told me it had come out during the night. UGH I was SOOOO mad!
His ped came in about 8:30am and told me that he refused to poke A for the 18th time. I asked him to look at the xray from in emerg so he did so. Told me he did NOT see pneumonia. WHAT!? My little man got 17 pokes for nothing??? So he took me to show me all of his xrays. I of course cannot tell pneumonia but it was interesting. So I then asked what the radiologist said. He said “possible” pneumonia. Okay so I have one saying yes, definite pneumonia, one saying no and one saying possible. Am I the only one that is confused on how this happens???
Anyways I was a bit frustrated that he put A on oral meds and said we could go home. So he told us to wait the day then and see how he was around 5pm when he would call. Okay fine. Grandma came up and daddy and left for a while.
At 3:30pm I returned and my mom said he had a pretty good day. He was acting tired so we figured we would try him down for a nap since we still had a while to wait for the doctor. Well that is when he started his blue episodes. It was about 20 minutes with sats below 60. The nurse on went and called the doctor. He told her that he was not doing any further investigations. UGH!!!! You could tell something was wrong because everytime that A got upset his heartrate would fly up. The doc told her that if he did it again before 5pm then he couldn’t go home. I was just so frustrated and pissed off that I packed him up and we headed home.
Monday night A is sitting with daddy on the couch. He starts to get upset and goes off colour. Well all of a sudden he cries like something REALLY hurts, goes straight stiff and boom he isn’t breathing. When he finally did take a big breath he passed out. J laid him on the floor about ten minutes later and he didn’t move. ANYONE that knows A knows that for one he doesn’t go to sleep on you like that and two if you move him he wakes up.
Well at 11pm I went to give him his med and he woke up. So we took him up to bed. What does he do?? The same thing!!!!! Except this time when he started breathing he didn’t pass out, he just continued to fuss and cry.
Tuesday morning I was livid to say the least. I immediately emailed his team at Sick Kids about what went on and called his doctor here. I was bawling my eyes out when I called the doctor and told the secretary what went on. She said she would call me back. When she did she said that he wanted to see A the next day to discuss home oxygen. WHAT!?!? That is NOT the answer. And we already have home oxygen!!!!
The nurse practitioner called me from Sick Kids. Said that she talked to his doctor and he wanted to see A in clinic next Tuesday. HUH? I am telling you my child stopped breathing TWICE last night and you want to see him next week??? I told her that wasn’t good enough. That I wanted something done NOW. She said she would go talk to him and call me back. When she did, she said that is the best they could do. She also told me that if things were that bad last night I would have called 911. Really?! For what?! To go through the same drama and have nothing come out of it?? I called 911 when he wasn’t breathing and it was like I was on a soap opera and we were sent home that SAME day with NO answers and NOTHING fixed.
By this point I am really really angry. I decided with the support and advice of a group of moms that I talk to, to take things further. I talk to A LOT of moms that have kids with all kinds of issues and all agreed and cannot believe that nothing is done. One mom even told me that if her son had sats as low as A she would expect a helicopter to land at her house.
I had another mom tell me that she thinks that the doctors don’t do anything because A is disabled and it doesn’t matter. (The low oxygen levels). Sadly I agree. If A was not disabled and he was doing what he was doing the doctors would not let it go on without investigating WHY it was happening.
I sat here Monday night after all this and wondered if I was just a crazy mom who wanted too much from doctors. If I was taking things too far and really they weren’t that serious. But I realized that NO I am not any of these. What A does is NOT okay and I have absolute reason to be worried.
So I took it upon myself to email about four news stations and about eight doctors/hospitals within the United States. I have heard from Global News so we will see where that goes….hopefully somewhere.
I have thought of this for a long time but I was so worried that it might make things here “difficult” or “worse” for A but I realize now that it cannot get any worse for him. No one does anything. These doctors and hospitals are supposed to take care of him. And the care he is receiving is disgusting to say the least and they need to be held accountable for this.
Anyways, that was Wednesday. I heard from Global Friday. A has continued with his blue episodes, however none as bad as Monday night but still not right. I just hope that ONE DAY SOON I find the right person who wants to help my little man. How could you not want to help him???
My Little Man Is Getting BIG!
Well it has been a crazy few days here! I haven’t blogged in a while so I have a bit to update on. First, still no luck yet with getting A covered for RSV season this year. I have a couple of calls to make today that will hopefully get me somewhere.
Thursday night was a nightmare here as A once again had a pretty rough night. I am not too sure what is wrong with him when he does this, but he is VERY fussy and just not comfortable. I really can’t wait for this sleep study! I think he might have had an upset tummy because his tube site was bleeding and Thursday night before going to bed he had been vomiting a lot of formula. At one point it looked like a whole entire can. I diluted his feed for about 24hours when he was acting better and had not been vomiting. But thankfully it never turned into anything more and he is fine!
Saturday grandma and grandpa S came down to spend the weekend. They got here just after noon and we headed over to Uncle S and Andrea’s house for their housewarming. A was pretty tired but had a hard time sleeping as there was way too much going on.
After leaving there we all headed over to grandma and grandpa C’s for dinner. We had our “wedding talk” and have some plans in place. Now I just need to get my butt in gear and start making deposits and reservations! I can’t believe how fast time is going and cannot wait until the day that I get to walk down the aisle!
Sunday, A went to the Storm game with daddy and grandpa and grandma S and I headed to Kitchener to the wedding show. I was glad that I went because I found an awesome photographer, a fabulous cake decorator and even got some great ideas for things that I want to do!
At the game…
We got back around dinner time and then we all headed out to eat at Shoeless Joe’s. Grandpa and grandma S then headed back home and we came home to head to bed. A had other plans last night and decided he wanted to stay up until 11pm! I am happy to say that I only got up ONCE with him last night and I actually had to wake him up this morning for physio and OT.
I couldn’t resist these pictures before waking him up!
So we started the breathing treatments with the nebulizer for A on Friday night and they are going well. The first time that he had one he was pouting and didn’t know what to think. This morning he actually didn’t need me to sit and hold it for him and he just watched the TV. I can’t say that I really notice a difference with the treatments yet compared to the puffers, but I do know that he is getting more of the meds this way than the other.
This morning A had Monique and Shelly here to work with him and he did VERY well!! Check out these amazing pictures!
After physio and OT A had his nutritionist here along with his speech therapist. Yes it has been a crazy house already and we still have his auditory speech therapist this afternoon!
Anyways, A now weighs a whopping 24lbs 1oz!!! That means he has gained 22 pounds and 8 ounces since he was born! That also means he went from 710 grams to 10,931.58 grams! WOW! She also measured him today and he is 80cm which is 31.5 inches. At birth he was 10.5 inches or 26.67 cms!
His speech therapist David and I decided we are going to wait on the feeding study to decide when he will be coming back.
Happy Birthday Aunt K!
A big happy birthday wish to Aunt K! We all love you, miss you and wish that you lived MUCH closer! Maybe one day A will be able to talk you into it! hahaha
So my little man is sick. The last two nights have been ROUGH to say the least. He has a pretty bad cold and today started with the fever. His cough is not sounding very nice either and he is just plain grumpy. I feel so helpless because there is nothing I can do to help make him better. It doesn’t help that he cannot have any meds to help with the stuffed nose, coughing and sneezing because he cannot have decongestants.
Yesterday we were at McMaster for his GI appointment. I had still never heard from the respirologist last week and yesterday I was hoping for a plan. Well actually that WAS the whole idea of seeing respirology and then GI. But as is no surprise the two had not even discussed A yet. Ugh.
So I had asked about possibly getting a g tube placed to try it out with A. Sure was the answer with the added “you are taking a risk….” Why is it that I always feel like I get stuck in a decision because no one wants to back me with it?! “Why do you want a g tube?” That was the next question. Well for starters, the gj tube was supposed to be temporary and it has been 20 months. Secondly the kid never feels hunger because he is fed 16 hours a day. He wouldn’t even know what hunger was if we were to stop feeding him. With a g tube I hope to get down to feeds every four hours or so and then work on oral feeds. It is kind of hard to get a kid to eat orally when he isn’t hungry. Maybe hunger is going to be the key to helping him do oral feeds. We all know that he was a good feeder before the tube so why not again?
Now I know that the gj tube was done because he was admitted into the PICU with life threatening events most likely due to reflux, BUT he has still has those spells with the gj. To me I feel that if we go to the g tube and he starts with the spells, then at least I can say that I tried and I will know that it isn’t possible. However without trying we will never know.
So now the plan is that the respirologist will call me in the next couple of weeks and we will see where to go from there. His GI told me to ask for the next available appointment to come back. LOL Well that wasn’t until March! I am not waiting until March to discuss things further.
On our way out we stopped at the NICU and got to see A’s primary nurse Danielle.
Last night was the first Leaf game so daddy and A cuddled and watched the game. Well some of it…
On a final note for today, I did hear from the doctor in London the other day about A’s MRI. A has mild PVL with a lot of white matter around the ventricles in his brain. English you ask? I’ll dedicate my next post to that!
Already Feeling Overwhelmed With Wedding Plans & Meeting Darcy Tucker!
Well it has been a crazy week around here! A’s tube that he had placed in London just does not want to stay in the spot that they marked it and it is driving me crazy! He has had a lot of vomiting of thick mucus and a couple of times he had projectile bile. Really gross stuff and frustrating when I don’t know why. I can only assume that his gut is irritated from having the new tube placed.
Wedding plans! AHHH I feel like I don’t have enough time to do everything and it is still so far away. The date is set and I have three places that I am looking at next week. My mom and I are also going to a bridal show in September so hopefully I will be able to book the DJ and the photographer then. I am SO excited about this day and I can’t believe still that it is going to happen! J and I have also picked out where we would like to go on our honeymoon so that is just one less thing to worry about. This day has to be absolutely perfect and I know with everyone involved that it will be just that!
So A has been impressing me this week with yet something else that is new. He now will sit in his swing and look at his feet! There was also one night that he was actually trying to get them and it was so obvious my the determination in his face! I was almost jumping up and down as this is a HUGE step if he was to start touching his own feet! I couldn’t catch a picture of it, but here he is in the swing…
Monique his physiotherapist was here the other day and she just cannot believe how well he has done over the summer. He is getting so much stronger with pulling his head forward, holding his head up, standing nicely, sitting nicely (supported) and just everything! She also told me that I am in the 1% of parents that she sees that are totally into their kids, advocating for what I believe is right and the knowledge that I have. So that was a very nice comment from her. I guess it just isn’t something that they see all of the time.
So today I took A to meet Darcy Tucker at the Future Shop that just opened here. For those of you who don’t know who he is, he plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs. I had also written him a letter and wasn’t sure that they would take it, but they did. My mom told him that it was a very special letter from Ashton and he smiled and said okay. We stood in line from about 10:45am until 1:30pm to meet him. It was raining when we first arrived but then it cleared up which was good.
Waiting patiently with grandma…
Smiling at grandpa…
Still waiting patiently, but almost there!
Getting tired…
The line moved quickly because he was just signing his name…no pictures with him or anything specific being written…
Looking at A…
Signing A’s hockey stick…
Grandma telling him about the letter…
Grandpa getting another stick for me signed…(my letter is under the sunglasses!)
A & Cole Finally Meet!
This morning I had to get A up and out of bed so that we could drive daddy to work. It was actually kind of funny because it is the first time that I know he was not thrilled about being taken out of bed before he was ready. Upon coming home I laid him on the couch and within minutes he crashed for almost two hours!
When he got up I got us all packed and ready to head to Kitchener to meet Cole! Cole was in the NICU when A was and his parents also stayed at the Ronald McDonald House. Actually kind of a small world because Cole’s dad and I went to high school together. Anyhow Cole was also born at 24 weeks and weighed 675 grams. Here is a profile that his mom Lisa had put on her site about him. Cole Evan
It felt kind of strange seeing Cole and meeting him because I feel like I already know him so well! But that is from following his blog daily and seeing what he is doing. It is so nice that I have met a few moms in the NICU and still keep in touch. They are definitely the ones that I can turn to when I have issues because I know that they understand.
A couple of pictures from last night of A…
Cole…what a sweetheart!
Cole is such a busy boy that I had a hard time getting any pictures of the two of them together. Here are the only two that I caught!
Cole climbing on the chair…is he cute or what?! And that smile!!
A keeping an eye on Cole…
So we had a great visit and I am so happy that we got them together! It took a long time but it is so hard during the months where germs are at their worst.
Lisa has a great site that I read daily. I have a link on the side of my blog for it…she has all the latest for anything and everything you can think of!
Growing Your Baby
After leaving our playdate we went to Fairview Mall for a bit. A loves his new stroller so I figured we could go there for a bit before heading home. We picked up daddy when we got back into Guelph and came home. We got the dogs ready and all of us headed out for a walk because it was so nice out! I am so happy that the days are coming where I can get out more with A. It is so hard being cooped up in the house all of the time!
Daddy and A watching the Leaf game…this has become one of my FAVORITE pics of the two of them!
Yay For Bath Time!
Well today was a good day but the time change sure did mess us all up around here! Daddy went with Uncle S to Toronto for a car show and A and I hung out at home. He slept pretty good last night. I actually can say that he has been better. His thing now at night is that he gets turned around and his legs go through the slats. Then when he wakes up a little bit and tries to move again he freaks out because his legs are caught and he can’t get them out.
His vomiting is definitely a big issue for me now. Today was absolutely crazy how much he threw up. And when he vomits now he goes completely off colour and it takes him a while to get back up. I am so concerned about his oxygen saturation’s lately. It just seems like it is one thing after another with him and no one ever has an explanation for what is going on.
This afternoon A, daddy, Uncle S and I went to the Storm game. They lost again and it was a pretty boring game. When we got home about 6pm we were all tired so laid down for a nap. A slept from about 6:30 until 9pm and then I got him up for his bath. I can never get over how happy he is when I wake him up. But he was even happier with me when I put him in the tub! As you can see he LOVES his bath. Even after the bath getting dried off he is sooo happy!
21 Months Old Today!
I am back! LOL I don’t know what I would do without my blog. I couldn’t post anything yesterday because my computer wasn’t here and my mom had brought her laptop over but I couldn’t get onto the Internet with it! Ugh I was so frustrated but here I am again.
So yesterday was a busy day. I did a TON of cleaning around here. I had five bags of garbage and I have two bags for good will! A was good today and had a great nap which is how I got so much done. Grandma stopped by for a bit. I took A to the Storm game last night with grandma and grandpa. They played London but ended up losing.
Today daddy worked very long! He started at 9am and didn’t get home until 10:30pm! I had a great day with A as you will be able to tell from the pictures! He is getting to be such a little boy! I am so proud of him everyday and he never ceases to amaze his mommy! He continues to do well with his rolling over. You can definitely tell now that he KNOWS what he is doing. Every time that he does roll over I get excited and say “yay” and praise him and now he smiles just before I do that, like he knows what is coming. It is soooo great to see him do this on a regular basis. I never thought the day would could where he would roll over and keep on doing it. It is so strange to me how he suddenly just started doing it one day after this long of not even really getting close to it. (Except for the odd time where I think it was total fluke.)
I cannot believe that my little man is 21 months old today! Only three months until his second birthday. You know, I look back and cannot even believe how long he spent in hospital and what he went through. I also find that looking back it seems like things weren’t “as bad” as they were. Don’t get me wrong, there were PLENTY of bad times but because we are past that it doesn’t seem as serious as it did then. When I go back and read his journal I still get emotional remembering certain times, meetings, days, nights…. there were many rough times. I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of this little boy and what he has endured, overcome and succeeded at. He is and will always be my little miracle. The joy he brings to each day is something that could never be replaced. He really is the love of my life!
Anyhow, tonight Uncle S came over for dinner. We had talked earlier and planned to eat for around 6pm but Andrea wasn’t back from the States and J wasn’t home from work. So we hung out for a bit and didn’t end up eating until about 9pm! It was a great dinner though. I love cooking good meals but it is so hard sometimes to even cook something quick!
Check out the spiky hair! It is starting to come in but it is sooo light you can never usually see it!
Is this not the perfect face?!
Now here is A trying SO hard to do tummy time and lift his head.
Tired boy, but he isn’t done yet!
NOW here is what I’m talking about!! WOO HOO A! And that smile makes it so much more perfect!
WE’RE BACK!!!
Well I have received a few emails wondering if everything is okay and I just wanted to say yes! I was unable to use my Internet for a couple of days but I am all hooked up now! I had just over 100 emails and of course have missed writing in my blog daily.
So this week has been pretty boring anyhow. I still am not feeling the greatest. I went to the walk in clinic on Monday because of my ear and sure enough it was infected. I was started on antibiotics but have to say that I still cannot hear out of my ear and it still is irritating!
A is doing good. He has not caught my cold or anything! Thank God for hand sanitizer! He had his therapy with Monica (OT) on Tuesday and she is very happy with him. Being relatively new to A it is nice to hear considering she is just getting to know him. I was supposed to go to a parent group for children with special needs with my friend Vickie that night as well but we both weren’t feeling good enough to go.
Yesterday A had his teacher from the deaf school (Valerie) and I was irritated to no end! I don’t really know what it is with her, but I just can feel my blood boiling when she is here. I think I really need to look into putting it on hold with her until A is closer to getting into school. He also had Deb (AVT) come over in the afternoon to work with him. She was very pleased to see how much more interactive A is with his toys. He gets very excited lately with toys and really wants to play like a normal baby!
I also talked to her about him hearing certain things now. If you clap loud enough he will look and certain sounds I do he will look as well. She said it is learned behaviour and that he recognizes those sounds now. This will help when he gets his implant because he will at least have some sense of what sound is.
We also did a testing scale for A because of what I was told at his appointment last week with the specialists in London. The doctor was pretty much dead on. A has all of the requirements in the 1-4 month range and a few in the 4-6 month range. Definitely opened my eyes to where he “should” be and where he is. We have to take into account his hearing/seeing obviously so hopefully once he gets his implant we will be able to see all of the 4-6 month boxes checked and higher.
So something new this week with A is his vomiting. He never used to vomit unless he was sick and it seems to be a daily occurrence now. It isn’t formula, but instead is thick/white mucus or bile. It is a bit concerning to me because of how often he is doing it and how much there is when he does. During the night I also hear him dry heaving a lot and gagging during the day for no apparent reason. In a book that I am reading I read that vomiting excess mucus can be the body’s way of getting rid of something harmful. It then goes on to say that the body is made to receive a diversified diet and that there is something called the “rotation diet”. It requires to use four different formulas and change them everyday from 1-4 and then continue. Interesting to read about since I have never heard such a thing. But if you think about it, it really makes sense. A has been on this enfamil now for 14 months. The first six months he was on breast milk. That is a long time to be on one formula that is concentrated to 30cals as well. So when I see his dietitian this week I will talk to her and see what she thinks.
Well tonight we went to the Storm game because they were playing the rival team London. Those are always great games to go to. Storm lost in overtime.
Here are some pictures from the other day of A in his tumbleform chair…
A getting ready for the Storm game wearing his signed jersey!
Sitting with grandma at the game…
On the way home all smiles…
Storm Game!
Today A was up pretty early considering he only went to bed about midnight. He was up at 7:30am and hasn’t really slept all day so hopefully he will sleep great tonight!
A and I went to the Guelph Storm hockey game with grandma and grandpa. I haven’t been to one in a long time and thought that it would be fun. I don’t normally like to take A to places that are full of people with lots of germs but he was kept well away from anyone really. He slept on grandma’s lap for a while but other than that he was really good. The Storm lost in a shoot out which always sucks. Considering that they were down 5-1 in the third they did really well.
One picture of A and grandma at the game. I realized when I got home and put the pictures on my computer that I still had the night vision on so the picture isn’t the greatest.
I’m really excited about tomorrow because A and I are finally going to meet Vickie and her twin daughters (who were also in Mac) Sophia and Alina. Don’t worry there will be lots of pictures tomorrow! Here is a link to their profile on a site that I check out every single day! Sophia & Alina
Just a few from bath time tonight…
He Makes Us Believe.... 