Posts tagged “echo

Update On PICU Stay

Well so much has happened in our three days here that I am just amazed. We came in Thursday night and A was SUPER happy to be here. What a kid! They did the bipap the first night but it did not go as well as they would have hoped so they did give him some sedation. He did about three hours on it the first night. It was great for me, because the respiratory therapist on with him for the past three nights knows him very well.

Friday I came in and they had already done an echo and we headed down to do an upper GI to check his fundo. All was great there. No results as of yet from the echo.

He also started with a fever on Friday and still has it today. So yesterday they did some blood cultures and a urine culture, results will be in tomorrow.

Last night on the bipap they gave him more sedation than the first two nights and he did about 5.5 hours on the bipap with ZERO desats!!! I am thrilled!

He was supposed to go in today for a CT scan of his chest with contrast however it is pretty crazy in the PICU today so they are holding off on that until tomorrow. I had a great meeting with one of the doctors yesterday and he feels that this CT will possibly help A’s respirologist maybe get some more insight. They were a bit iffy about doing it because they have to give him an IV but I told them that I was willing to let them do that if they felt this CT would help them. This doctor has done NOTHING but prove himself to me and I have total faith in belief that he just may be THE one to finally figure A out.

Please keep up the good thoughts and prayers. A is definitely in the right place to be sick but we didn’t come in for that! The doctor two nights ago said to me “this was supposed to be a simple admission for bipap but yet it seems so complex.” That is my boy!


We Are On Call For PICU

Well, as I sit here and write this post so much goes through my head. We headed to the hospital yesterday to see A’s respirologist. As I have said in previous posts, I truly wish we had met this man sooner. He is amazing in every single way and really knows his stuff. And he is the ONLY doctor that has taken what A does VERY VERY seriously and is very confused as to why his issues have not already been dealt with.

So, as it sits right now we are waiting for “the call”. A is going to be admitted to the PICU for a period of time and will not be able to come home until he has some sort of ventilation.

His issues at night have continued and this use of oxygen has been very concerning to me as this is not something that he *needed* in the past. Yes, he has always had issues with desats, but not like it has been lately. I have been saying that I feel like he is going downhill and that is the same thing that his resp. doctor thinks. He told me that kids with issues that A has get worse, not better.

So the plan is going to be to try to get A used to wearing Bi-PAP at night while he sleeps. “Bi-level Positive Airway Pressure; Used to treat sleep apnea, and other sleep related breathing disorders; Delivers alternating levels of inspiratory pressure (IPAP), or higher pressure, to keep the airway open as a patient breathes in, and the expiratory pressure (EPAP) is lower to reduce the work of exhaling; the BiPAP can be set to drop the level at specific intervals, or upon demand.”

Children usually take some time to get used to this, so depending on how well A does with it will depend on the length of our stay. The good thing is that he has not had his soother since he was ill in October. This would definitely be an issue as the Bi-PAP mask goes around his nose and over his head. And with him only taking his soother upside down and sleeping on his belly, it would have been next to impossible.

The other added bonus is that he really really wants to sleep on his back now, however I have not been able to allow him as his saturations are always lower and he just doesn’t breathe well. Bi-PAP will be MUCH easier if he is sleeping on his back.

*IF* the Bi-PAP does not work then we will have to talk deeper about a tracheostomy. When he mentioned it to me yesterday I said that I didn’t know if I could do a trach to A. His exact words were “well here is the question to answer it for you. Do you want your son to live or die?” I started to cry. Of course I want A to live, but a trach is a HUGE deal. It is a major surgery. It would change his life completely and ours. It is not something I take lightly.

Now with all that has been going on, he is very concerned about A having issues with his heart because of how much harder it has to work for him with all of his breathing issues. So they will doing another echo to check on things. One of the big issues that can happen with severe sleep apnea and the apnea that A has daily is right heart failure.

Another thing that was talked about was these big “spells” that A has. He thinks that they *could* be sudden pulmonary hypertension spells where the vessels all clamp down which cause him to go very blue and not breathe. I sit here wondering why on earth no other doctor has even suggested this could be the problem????

So it looks like we are in for another hospital stay. I feel more comfort in the fact that this is being done in the ICU but I am still very scared of what the future holds yet again.

The other issue that we have to deal with is A’s night feeds. His respirologist wants him off night feeds, no ifs ands or buts. This is proving to be VERY difficult and for now I just can’t make it happen. I didn’t do a feed last night but today just did not work out to give him more feed. He was refluxing like crazy with his second feed and that was only at noon. I will be lowering the night feed by 10mls/hour but that is the best I can do for now.

A’s x-ray from our last appointment did show that he does have interstitial lung disease. I specifically asked A’s chest team at Sick Kids *if* he could have this and they said no. Yet again, another question in my mind.

This is day two of no beds being available. I just pray that we get one soon because I am so afraid that my little man is going to be spending Christmas in the PICU.


Still Hanging In

Well we have had an interesting few days around here. Wednesday night the night nurse was a new one which I absolutely cannot stand when there are a bunch on that DO know him. This nurse had come to help out for the night because of short staff, and she usually works in the critical care and NICU. I thought okay, well she has more experience than others….what could go wrong? Well for starters she was not friendly at all and didn’t do any vital signs until after 11pm. J and I had left for about fifteen minutes at about 10:30pm and we came back into the room with A in the crib and three nurses standing around him. They had the oxygen blasting in his face and the suction going. I looked up at the monitor and he was in the 20s and I immediately told them to get rid of the oxygen. The nurse looks at me and tells me that they need it because he is satting so low. I then tell her that he can’t have oxygen and that it makes him worse. She was not told this on handover. Ugh! Then the most shocking news. She said he had thrown up! WHAT?! Sure enough his shirt was covered in vomit and he was NOT happy. It took me a good ten minutes to settle him down. I asked what he was doing and she said nothing…he was just sitting in his chair watching TV. Well the parents next to me told me that she was bouncing him pretty rough in his chair and then he gagged and threw up. I was livid. I went right out to the nurses station, waited for the charge nurse and spoke with her. She was ready to cry because she was so stressed out from her shift already. Anyways she said she couldn’t change the jobs because this nurse helping out specifically requested to have babies or she wasn’t coming to work. A isn’t a baby I said…he is almost three. Closest thing I was told. So I settled down and she agreed to put A on her pager for the night.

I then asked our nurse to page the on call doctor as I was freaking out that A had thrown up. He came to talk to me but it was really a waste of time. That is what sucks about things happening on the weekend around here!

Friday we had a little meeting with our complex care doctor and the social worker. We have finally come to the decision that A will be going home. I am not thrilled to be leaving here without answers, but I need to get over it I guess. This is VERY hard for me to accept. They are calling my case manager and getting her to come in for a meeting. They want me to have more nursing than just two nights a week. I told them how home care nursing just isn’t the same so they will be getting nurses in here to train that I will have at home. I will also be having a monitor for him as well. Genetics will follow up with us on an out patient basis. I am not quite sure when we will be going home but probably within the next couple of weeks. We were also told that the chest team wants a chest x-ray and an echo done on A every six months after we leave. I will be talking to chest on Monday about everything because they really thought that his feeds were related to his desats but we found out with the probe that there is no correlation at all. Should be interesting to see what they have to say about that. Maybe they will finally do a CT scan. Who knows.

Friday night. A’s feed finished at 11pm and two minutes later he looked funny. His sats dropped to the 70s and then he threw up. No gagging, no retching, just threw up. Probably about 30mls as well. I was so upset! I just don’t know how this is happening with a fundo that is tighter than usual!!!! The doctor on call came last night but he really couldn’t help me out much. He did say he totally understands why I am concerned and the regular team needs to know about this for sure on Monday. It was at this time that I found out that he had thrown up as well on Thursday night after I went to bed. I was never told in the morning when I asked how his night was.

Yesterday I also started A with some sweet potatoes mixed with his 6pm feed and some rice cereal mixed with all feeds. He is doing great so far and I can’t wait to get him to all blended food. I just wrote out a new chart today for his feeds. It took a while as you have to count all calories and water consumption.

Today A went down for a nap at 2pm and at 2:30pm woke up with gas and then went into one of his big spells that he has not had in a couple of days. The nurse on today was kinda freaked out because she hasn’t been with him in a while. He went as low as 8 and it lasted for about 25minutes for the whole episode. We both also noticed some strange staring spell during the episode. Ugh talk about a downer for the day!

I have been thinking today again about the botox in the saliva glands and think that I may end up doing that before we leave. I do notice a lot of secretions during these episodes as well as when he gags. We stopped the glyco the other day as I didn’t notice it helping so maybe I should just TRY the next step. I will be talking to the docs on Monday about it again.


Doctors Might Be On The Ball?

Well I think that maybe, just maybe the doctors are getting their acts together. On Wednesday they came back and started to talk again about going home. I told them that if they made sure the discharge papers said that he was having cyanotic episodes then I would take him home. Well needless to say I didn’t see the doctor again until Thursday. They know that they cannot send a child home that isn’t stable.

I was also told by the doctor on Wednesday that one day soon I need to start advocating for A. I think I almost fell out of my chair. I asked if she was kidding and she said no. I said that from day one that is ALL that I have been doing. I haven’t stopped advocating! And as far as I am concerned I advocate WAY too much in my mind. I shouldn’t have to fight and fight to try and get answers for A. She then told me that doctors are always going to come in and want to do tests and that isn’t fair for me to continue to let this happen. She said at some point I need to start advocating that enough is enough. WHAT?! But no one wants to do tests. And then she told me that it isn’t fair that I am requesting all of these tests for him. In particular the probe that he is having done on Monday. She said it is unnecessary testing that I am willing to put him through. Now give me a break. The last thing I like to see is A having anything done. It is hard for me not to get emotional when they take blood! But I feel the probe IS necessary to see if he is refluxing … end of story.

After some more fighting about the echo cardiology finally (but reluctantly) agreed to do an echo. So that was done yesterday and from what I heard last there was nothing seen. This is wonderful news! Just another thing that I can rule out.

Genetics came up in conversation again and she didn’t feel that was necessary either. I was confused because I had another doctor mention that A could have some sort of genetic mutation. She told me that the next time that I was pregnant I could just have an amnio done to tell me if anything was wrong. I told her that I couldn’t do that. I already had one preemie and there wasn’t anything that I would EVER do to risk that again. She said if I had it done early enough then it would be okay. Ummmm NO!

Well guess what? Genetics is going to be doing a consult. They came up yesterday but will be coming back on Monday to speak to me.

I also told the doctor that I felt that if A was “typical” then they would be doing everything possible to try and figure out what was wrong with him. That if he wasn’t a preemie and didn’t have cerebral palsy they would figure it out. I really am getting the feeling that they look at him as TOO disabled. But A is my child and that doesn’t matter to me. He is my life and I will continue to fight for him as long as I have to. I think they are starting to realize this.

He continues to have episodes. It seems odd too that most times they are at 2pm and 10pm. I can’t seem to figure out what is going on at that point that would cause this to happen. Two nights ago he had one that really scared his nurse and she is a nurse that usually works in the ER. This says a lot to me. Today he had one for about thirty minutes where he didn’t come above 60. I just don’t know what to think about them. All I know is that they are very hard for me to deal with and I myself feel really scared at times.

Now for some long overdue pictures…











Been A While!

Well we are still in hospital. Last week went pretty slow with not much happening around here. Beginning to become a regular thing. The good news is that we got a new chest team that started on Wednesday and I really really like the lady that I am dealing with. She LISTENS to me and FEELS my concerns. These are definitely hard to come by around here so this is great. She had asked me why an echo hasn’t been done yet and I explained that the last team said that it wasn’t cardiac related. She then went on to tell me that she is concerned about heart failure because of all of the low desats he has been having and with what is going on. I agreed with her that if she felt it was necessary to do the echo then I was all for it. She put in the order.

Thursday comes around and I was speaking to the complex care team. I asked about the echo and they told me that they had talked to chest and that the chest team didn’t realize that A had just had one done in November that was fine. He then told me that they were satisfied with the results therefore would not be wanting a new one.

Thursday IGT also came in to speak with me about the botox that they wanted Ashton to have. It was then when I found out that there are many risks with the botox. After discussing it thoroughly with the doctor I was comfortable with going ahead and signed the forms for it to be done on Friday morning at 9am.

Well, later that day I was not feeling so great about it. My gut was just not right with the idea. And when I have that feeling I know that I need to listen to it! So at 4pm I talked to his NP and told her that I was cancelling it. Well to make a long story short, they were not too impressed. But guess what? I don’t give two shits! I then went on to tell her that I wanted to try him on the med first that does the same thing as botox. This was the med that they told me about a week ago that they didn’t want to try because it can thicken secretions. Well I figured after asking many moms about it to give it a shot. Who knows, it could work. So he was started on that at a low dose and we will probably have to increase it tomorrow as I don’t notice any change yet.

Friday. A HORRIBLE day! Chest doctor was here and asked why the echo had not been ordered. I said that I talked to complex yesterday and they told me that you were satisfied because of A’s echo in November. Boy was she angry!! She told me that she never said that and has placed it in the notes three times that she wants one done!!! She then opened to the last note she had wrote and asked if he knew how to read?! LOL I told her that she needed to talk to him because I was tired of always getting different answers from different doctors. Kind of crazy if you ask me! Things like this just should NOT be happening!!!!!

Then around 2pm I went to lay him down for his nap. Well he was NOT doing well. He started into one of his fits and it lasted almost an hour. Thank goodness that his favorite nurse was on and she is so wonderful with him. I was getting VERY emotional. I am just so tired of seeing him so blue so often. I left to go to the washroom quick and when I was coming back I saw his NP. I told her that I wanted a probe done because I think he is still having issues with reflux and that I was tired of them sitting around not doing anything when A is obviously struggling! She said we could talk as a team on Monday to see if the probe was necessary. I told her that it was because either way I wanted to know IF he was refluxing still. I mean it is obvious that the fundo is working but he has not had a g tube in two years so it IS possible that he just cannot handle g tube feeds.

I went home on Friday night because Aunt K and Grandma S were coming down so that we could go and get Kelly’s dress for the wedding on Saturday. I really did not want to leave but felt comfortable knowing he was well taken care of with Jordana.

Saturday went well for dress shopping and now just two left to get. We drove down here on Saturday in the nasty nasty snow but luckily we got here before the worst of it came.

Today is A’s 8 month hearing age!!! And to top this post off with the best news yet…..the complex care team is switching over tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am ecstatic! Can you tell? LOL


No Cardiac Issues!

Sunday night we headed over to watch the Grey Cup with grandma, grandpa and their friends after getting our family Christmas pictures done. WOW that was not fun and I can’t believe how grumpy this kid is when it comes to picture time! Here at home he smiles as soon as he sees the camera but yet whenever we go for photos he is the most miserable child ever! I did everything but hang upside down to get a smile out of him!

Hanging out watching football…


Notice how he is holding BOTH of his socks! Way to go A!

Well we had quite the day yesterday at Mac for A’s echo! Grandma came and picked us up at 6:30am and we were there for 7:30am. A was in a super mood which was surprising as I had to wake him up and he didn’t sleep much on Sunday night.

Mommy in her scrubs and one happy boy!




At 9am we were taken over to the OR with A. I then had a chance to talk to the nurses and the anesthetist about A being put under with a general anesthetic. I am always very concerned because he doesn’t do well afterwards coming out of it. The anesthetist decided that they would try and do the echo without the general. At 9:45am A was taken into the OR. At 10:30am the nurse came to get me to go into the recovery room to see A. I was immediately basically thrown onto a stretcher as another nurse took my coat and purse from me. A was then handed to me and it was obvious that he wasn’t doing too well. I thought that they had ended up doing the general and this was the problem.

The anesthetist then came over to talk to me about how things were done and her concern on A dropping his sats to the 50s and 60s continuously on six litres of oxygen. I said to her that this is ALWAYS how he behaves after a general anesthetic. This is when she told me that he didn’t have one. He didn’t even really have sedation. The only thing he had was a “whiff” of nitrous oxide which she said was enough to last maybe ten minutes. What?! Then what is going on?! No one knew. They were suctioning and did a breathing treatment. He went to sleep on me and was doing “okay” at this point with the odd dip into the 70s. However as soon as he would start to wake up and move he would start again with the drops.

The cardiologist came in to speak to me and that is when I got the great news that A does not have any cardiac issues! A year ago his echo showed that one of the vessels that grows in the muscle of the heart was actually turned into his left chamber and they were concerned about that. It corrected itself though so we are free of cardiology!

Finally at about 1pm A was transferred out of the PACU and into the day surgery recovery. However his dips still continued and I was getting VERY frustrated. I just don’t understand how this goes on and on but yet NOTHING is done?! Grandma was finally able to join us and A went right to sleep when we laid him on his belly and gave him his lifesaving soother. The nurse had his oxygen turned down to just under a litre and he was satting 80-84 consistent. Finally about 4:30pm he was up to 88-90 consistently. I however was not pleased with all this going on and just wanted to get to the bottom of it. The anesthetist kept coming in and was worried about what was happening. She then mentioned that he might be admitted. I of course fought that because I don’t need him catching something else up in the ped ward. I then asked what was going to be done if he was admitted. Nothing….just observation was her answer. Well I can observe him at home and we have oxygen here.

When I was talking to her later on I asked what she thought was happening. She immediately said airway issues. Thank you! That is what I have been saying for so long now I don’t even remember!!!!!! But then of course it comes down to the fact that no matter where we are (hospital) and he does this NOTHING is done. No tests are ordered and we are sent on our way. I just don’t get it.

At about 5pm A woke up and I was trying to keep him happy. The anesthetist wanted to see him awake and what he was up to before sending us home. Well wouldn’t you know it he was not happy and constantly dropping to the 60s,70s and so on. The only way to keep him happy was giving him water! Of course I automatically think he has a fever because he only drinks with a fever but nope. Probably the nitrous and all the oxygen. Grandma couldn’t give it to him fast enough! LOL


FINALLY at 6pm she said we could go as long as he was put back on the oxygen here at home and that if I was at all concerned that I would take him in. Sure thing! (I had to laugh in my head because EVEN when I DO take him anywhere there are no answers. *^$& even calling 911 didn’t get us anywhere. How sad is this?!??!

We were home about 7:30pm and A went right to sleep. He did well last night and is a happy guy today. Still on a half litre of oxygen but home….


Good Luck Day Or What?!

Well things around here are slowly getting back to the norm. A is still on oxygen and we will hopefully be able to get rid of it after seeing the ped on Thursday. I currently have him between a quarter of a litre and half litre. I do wonder though if it is helping his with sleep because everyday for the past three days he is napping for three hours! Normally his naps are only maybe an hour if I’m lucky. He actually went down today at 1:30pm and he is still asleep and it is 4:50pm.

Now for my news of the day! This morning I got a call from cardiology at Mac. They were calling to inform me that they have an opening in the OR for A to have his long awaited echo next week. I was really thrown off with this as his pre-op was in March. Seems kinda funny to me that so much crap has been going on in the past week and they call with this appointment. Anyhow, I was a bit iffy on whether or not I wanted to say “yes” because I really wanted him to be seen at Sick Kids for this. I also don’t like that I was not able to talk to anyone about my concerns of A being put under a general anesthetic. I then told the lady I was speaking to about Sick Kids having a referral waiting for A but the files from Mac have not yet been sent over. It has been about three months since the first day I tried to get them transferred. She told me that she had not been approached with regards to sending all his cardiology reports over to Sick Kids. I however know different as I have spoken to them about four times and the secretary from Sick Kids has also called them twice. Anyways she then informed me that she had no problem sending all the reports over. What?! I wonder about all this….I have decided that I will take A to have his echo done for the main reason that it is going to be a different cardiologist than we have dealt with. I also said that I expect to talk to the doctor afterwards and I want answers.

Anyways next part of my good luck day. I called to speak to the nurse for the pulmonolgist that we saw in October. I wanted to know about the referrals that he said he was doing. She was absolutely wonderful and very helpful. The pulm had talked in length with Dr.Jacobson who was the ped that we saw at Sick Kids a while back. He was very concerned about A and what is happening but since he didn’t believe that it was related to his lungs there wasn’t much more he could do. So Dr. Jacobson took over for the referrals. His nurse however talked to me in length about what has been going on lately and was very caring and sympathetic. Not too often that you find someone like this. (Well for me anyways.) I asked her as well about the RSV shot for A but she did warn me that the pulm would probably be against it as at A’s weight it would be three needles which just isn’t nice. She said he is also getting past the point where they say that RSV would be helpful to him.

After talking to her I phoned the ped that we saw at Sick Kids to find out what was going on with the referral for ENT and the feeding study. Once again I talked to someone that was VERY helpful and caring. The ped wasn’t in but her secretary told me that she would be sure to get her to follow up with me tomorrow. I had also mentioned that I would like to see Dr.Papsin (ENT) as he was the one that did A’s cochlear implant and I really liked him. He also saw what A does when he is having a spell as he was very unstable in the OR during surgery. He had come out afterwards and told me what happened, that there was a team of them in there that were worried and lastly that it would be figured out. Well it never was figured out. When I asked the pulm about doing a specific referral to a certain ENT he said it couldn’t really be done. Well the lady today said that she will see to it that we get in with Dr.Papsin.

SO, maybe just maybe we will finally be getting somewhere!!!!!! I am not getting my hopes up quite yet BUT I am a little more optimistic.



Playdate, Respirology & 23.9lbs!

Yesterday I took A over to Alina and Sophia’s for a long overdue playdate. The girls birthday was on August 13th and I still had not given them their presents! It was a really nice day so we spent it outside. A was not the happiest boy though so things didn’t go as nicely as I had wished. But hey, that’s what happens sometimes with kids.

Sophia and A on the swings…he wasn’t sure what to think at first as you can tell but he then changed his tune…




There are the smiles!



Sophia giving kisses…




Alina woke up for some playtime however A wanted to sleep…

Haha way too cute…


Sophia opening her present…

Alina and her thumb!

Alina opening her present…



After leaving there we headed over to Mac for his appointment with a respirologist. I should add his FIRST appointment with one which is VERY odd to me considering that he was on oxygen until 18months of age.

Anyhow, I was not going to go because I am seeing a pulmonologist next month at Sick Kids but I did go. I am very happy that I did as well. She was a very good doctor and totally listened to everything that I had to say. She didn’t rush me and was very interested in A. I was basically sent to see her because of the whole fundo idea. However I am happy to say that she agrees with me that the fundo is not the route to go! WOO HOO someone on my side!

The first five minutes she spent just looking at him and watching him. Then she turned to me and said “you take very good care of him.” I didn’t really know what to say as I have not heard that from a doctor that I don’t know at all. I said thanks and she said “really, I can tell just by sitting here that you do. And even his shoes match his shirt.” LOL Yep that is me! He is a stylin boy, I can give myself that much.

She thinks that A’s reflux is basically all upper airway which means that a fundo would not help him at all. Hmmmm what I have been saying for months? Basically it is like he is pooling all of his saliva in his upper airway and then he will gag and it comes up. I have been saying for about a year now that I don’t think what he is vomiting is coming from his stomach. It is too thick and just doesn’t seem like it would be. The odd time he does vomit formula which is a big deal considering he has a gj tube but it is very rare for this to happen.

She also asked me who decided that not feeding him orally was a good idea. LOL Well long story short that was taken away from him when he was readmitted after only four days home from the NICU. I had NO say at all and this is when the nightmare began.

Another question she had was why he hasn’t had another scope of his airway done. The last time was February of 2006 while in the ICU. Well I had asked for one but I was told that it was unessary testing. What else can I do? I think she got the hint that I was REALLY frustrated with doctors and the care that A has received. I always feel like I am going in circles and it is so hard to keep fighting for what I believe in when I get no where. I had also told her that he had laser surgery on his airway in December of 05 and when he was readmitted the same surgeon/ENT told me that his laryngeal malaysia was back. Back??!!??! She was confused! Now I am even more confused than I ever was too.

Next question. Why hasn’t he had another echo? Hmmm well we had pre-op for an echo in March of this year. STILL haven’t heard when it is. I have called and I just get told that they need OR time and until something is cancelled he has to wait.

The echo came up when we were discussing his ALTEs-apparent life threatening events. Why she wanted to know has no one looked further into them? Hmmm I have been wondering that since they started happening. Being told by a doctor in ICU that what A does scares him and that he has no idea what to say doesn’t make me feel much better. Being told that every time these spells happen there is a chance that he will not come out of them isn’t helpful either. Being told to make sure that I know CPR doesn’t help either. Besides if the ICU can’t bag him and get air into him during a code blue then how the heck can I do it here at home?!?!?

I feel like I might finally be getting somewhere. I think that maybe, just maybe I have found someone that WANTS to help A.

A waiting for the doctor at McMaster…go figure, now he’s happy!

Laughing away at something…

A with Bonnie from the NICU. We had not seen her in almost a year and she couldn’t get over how big he was! She was an awesome nurse and very caring and true.


A last night before he went to bed sitting with daddy. A loves daddy time at night and is always so much calmer with him than me. I guess it is a nice break for me though 🙂




We Are Home! Cochlear Implant Is In….

Well we are home from Toronto Sick Kids. We got in late last night (about 11pm). So I guess I will start at the beginning….

A the morning of surgery at home. He doesn’t look too impressed to be woken up at 5am!

We headed out of here at 6:30am on Monday morning so we could be at the hospital for 9am. Well, that didn’t work quite as planned. As we came up to the 401 we noticed that the traffic was backed up ALREADY. So we just kept going straight to get down to the 403 to try that way. We did okay for a while and then the traffic was stop and go. I was having some major stomach issues during the drive because of my nerves and the traffic did not help at all. We didn’t get to there until about 9:45am. I was all panicked that they would cancel his surgery and so on because we were late.

A and daddy in the first waiting room waiting for the nurse to come and prep him for surgery!

Grandma and A…


I was very impressed with how well I did throughout the whole morning. I thought for sure that I would be a mess but I held up! My stomach issues continued until late Monday night when everything was over with.

Mommy and daddy getting him changed into his gown for surgery…




Look at my smiley little guy before surgery! (If he only knew what was coming!)




After seeing the nurse and having his vital signs and oxygen sat taken we were told to go back into the waiting room and we would be called downstairs shortly.

Now waiting to be called down for surgery!

Excited mommy and daddy…(grandma got a GREAT picture of the three of us together…I will post it when I get it here!)


Finally we were taken downstairs. WOW, I felt so good at this point. We talked to the anethicist and the nurse that would be with him in the OR during surgery. Dr.Papsin also came out to talk to us briefly. I think having such an amazing surgeon put me more at ease with the whole ordeal.

In the final waiting room waiting for A to be taken into the OR. (By the way, I did very well holding myself together!)

At about 11:10am A was taken away from us and into the OR. The countdown was on! They told us to expect him out around 2pm.

Grandma, daddy and I went to get some food and to try and take our minds off of the worrying of the surgery. About 1pm we were in the waiting room where daddy and I tried to get a little sleep. That didn’t last very long because Dr.Papsin was out to talk to us just shortly after 2pm.

So the surgery was very difficult for him to do. There was a TON of bleeding and his blood pressure, oxygen sats and heart rate kept dropping. At this point they would have to stop and wait for him to recover which was causing more bleeding. He told us that he believed something was going on with his heart and that there were many opinions happening in the OR. We were a little bothered to hear all of this as it really wasn’t what we had expected. At any rate, Dr.Papsin was able to get the implant in and it was working. (They hook it up to the computer after implanting it and make sure that it works.)

A was vented for the surgery therefore he had a pretty hard time coming off of it as he was on a lot of morphine. We were not able to go into the critical care room until 4pm to see him. He was having problems with his oxygen levels for a while but they had him stable. He was not able to be transferred up to his room in constant care until almost 10pm.

A about nine hours after surgery. Just got out of critical care unit and up to the constant care room.


So the first night was pretty rough for A. Daddy and grandma left about 10:30pm. He was on codeine, tylenol and motrin continuously. I headed down the the surgical waiting room to get some sleep on one of the couches. When you are as tired as I was, ANYTHING is comfortable! I was only able to get about 2 hours of sleep before I was called back up because A was very irritable. He wanted to be held constantly.

The day after surgery…I got a couple of little smiles from him.




The doctors came in on Tuesday very early to check on his incision site. There was more bleeding going on than usual still and they had to keep a close eye on it. The bandage had to be changed four times during that night and normally it isn’t changed at all. Later on that day they took out the drainage tube that was in behind his ear.

Tuesday night was also a long night. He was once again very irritable and still receiving all of the meds. The nurses said that normally children who receive the implant do not even want pain meds, but with A they kind of expected all of what was happening to happen.

I headed down once again to get some sleep and had about four hours. I felt like a zombie yesterday walking around.

Dr.Papsin also told me that day that A is a tough little guy and that is why he was there. Made me feel good. He was happy with the way that things were looking around the site but just wanted to wait for A to go home because he wasn’t himself.

A yesterday sitting in his chair. It was his first time being out of bed and he wasn’t really himself this morning still.


Grandpa stopped by for a bit to visit. It was nice having someone there as I had been by myself since the night of surgery when daddy and grandma left.

I also had cardiology come in to see A yesterday. Dr.Papsin had arranged this after some fussing on my part because of his blue spells and what he was doing during surgery.

At first they said they couldn’t overstep Mac because he was already being seen there. A little while later they came back and said that Mac has discharged A from cardiology. Huh?!? I have been waiting for three months now for a echo to be done. Pre-op was in the beginning of March. They were VERY confused.

However, the cardiologist said that his heart sounded good and that he didn’t think that was the problem. This was a good thing but at the same time still left us with no answers. I asked him what could be causing the issues and he came back and told me that he had just looked at the xray from the 11th and that A’s lungs are awful. He said they are all patchy and that is his problem right there. Once again I am confused because I have been told in the past while that his lungs are fine and there is pretty much no lung disease. Cardiology told me that they think it is from him aspirating and when it is small amounts it causes damage. Ugh, yet another problem now!

Later on in the day…

So early in the afternoon I was still complaining about his blue spells and his sats. They didn’t seem too concerned because he wasn’t really doing his “norm” as he was still on oxygen. I left in tears and when I came back, guess what?!? A had one of his BIG spells, the apparent life threatening events! The docs that were dealing with him and everyone else saw what happened. He has not done one of these since April 4th.

Around dinner time last night…much more himself. Hanging with his koala from Dr.Papsin. This koala has a cochlear implant as well 🙂




So late last night the docs discontinued the oxygen because he isn’t on it at home. A was asleep and satting 98-100 on the oxygen. It was turned off and he went down to 75-85. Turn it on and he would go back up. It was very obvious that it was helping him. However, long story short they STILL sent him home.

I was pretty emotional all the way home. I think it didn’t help that I was WAY over tired. But the great thing is, is that A had a great night. He still has continued to vomit blood but when he did it in the hospital they said it was most likely from the intubation. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this.

A today with no wrap on his head.

Incision site…


Today he has been himself totally. It is great to see this! Grandma was here for a bit and now I am going to try and lay down and have a nap with A!

Oh, this is the best thing about today. Cardiology from Mac called and want to do A’s echo next week. I thought he was discharged?!?!


Pre-Op For Sedated Echo

Well today has been a VERY long day for me! I had a not so good night with A as he was throwing up and gagging a lot. And this morning when he was sound asleep I had to wake him up to drive daddy to work. Grandma was here just after 9am and we got A ready to head off to Mac.

His pre-op appointment was for 10:30am and I was impressed that we didn’t have to wait and wait like the last time we were there. So the doctor decided that he wants A to have the echo done in the operating room with an anesthesiologist there, just in case anything was to happen. I am not happy that he has to be put out for the echo but it is something that they need to check. The echo is just an ultrasound on the heart but he needs to be completely still for them to get a good view and without him being put to sleep that would not happen. His last echo one year ago showed some extra blood flow in the left chamber of the heart and they wanted to keep an eye on it. I should find out next week when we will be going.

A on a tractor in the playroom at Mac before his appointment!

So after the appointment we went up to the NICU but none of A’s old nurses were on. We did get to see Ashton’s neonatologist Dr.Sant’Anna. He is an amazing man and we were so lucky to have him involved in A’s care. I truly believe that he is one of the reasons that A is still with us today. The NICU at Mac is definitely lucky to have him as a part of their team! There needs to be more doctors like him that genuinely care for the babies in the NICU. He was always so willing to listen and explain things to us.

I talked to him about my concerns with A going off colour lately but he does not think that oxygen will help him. If it was related to lungs then it would but he thinks that it is neurological. I truly trust what he says so I am a little more at ease about what has been happening. He did tell me that he is surprised at how well A is doing now (lung wise) because of the problems and difficulties that he had while in neo. So that was nice to hear. I finally got a couple of pictures of him with A!


We got back home just in time for grandma to head back to work. A had fallen asleep at the hospital and slept all the way home. I was exhausted and tried to lay down with him but he didn’t want any part of it. So now I am off to bed and hopefully for a few hours straight!