Sixteen years ago today I lost someone who I loved very much. My grandma C. I really can’t believe that it has been that long. WOW, how time flies. There is hardly a day that goes by where I don’t think about her and how much I miss her. How much I wish she was around me. How much I wish that she could be a great grandma to A. How much I wish I could see her hug him, talk to him, just love him. How much I just wish she was still here, period.
I have yet to understand why we seem to lose the great ones that we love too soon. It just really doesn’t seem fair. And it just totally plain sucks because she was so loving, so caring and such a wonderful grandma. I have SO many great memories about her which I am thankful for.
I really truly believe that even though I cannot see her she is here with us. A definitely has his “friends” that make him smile and giggle and I am sure that she is one of them.
I love you grandma.
It was three years ago today that A came home from McMaster after his ICU stay.
It was two years ago today that he came home from hospital after being admitted for high fever, congestion, vomiting and all that fun stuff.
It was a year ago today that he was still inpatient at Sick Kids dealing with an NPT tube.
And today, well he is recovering from pneumonia!
Hmmmm something about him and the number 23. January 23rds and February 23rds. This explains why 23 is one of my lottery numbers. Not that it has been lucky, but I figure it is significant so I might as well!
Well January 23rd is sure a day that will always be in my thoughts. January 23rd 2005 was the day that I found out that I was pregnant with A.
January 23rd 2006 was the day that A finally came home after 227 days in the NICU. Although it was only a short visit home it was still a day that we never ever thought would ever happen!
January 23rd 2007 was the day that we found out that A was legally blind. We had always known that he would have issues with his vision but never in a million years did we think that we would have to deal with the whole “legally blind” thing.
January 23rd 2008 A was in Toronto Sick Kids undergoing many tests to try and get to the bottom of his blue spells. It was the day that we found out that his lungs were 40% lipids and that I had no choice but to go with the fundoplication.
Thankfully January 2009 has nothing that will always be tied with it!!!! haha Well maybe…the day that we FINALLY got in the New Bug Seat that I have been asking for to trial for almost a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well the big day is tomorrow for A’s scope and possible adenoid removal! I am kind of glad it is tomorrow and not Wednesday as Wednesday is the 23rd and I am a bit supersticious about that day. January 23 2005 I found out I was pregnant, 2006 on that day he came home from NICU and in 2007 he was admitted to hospital. Hopefully nothing happens this year on that day!
Funny how I feel. I have been begging for a scope now for a year and now that it comes down to it I am scared out of my mind. As I type this my stomach is turning and I just pray that all goes well. Please say a little prayer for A that he will do well and not have any issues. Thanks so much!
This day brings back a lot of emotions and memories for me. It was 14 years ago today that my grandma passed away. She was a big part of my life and I will always remember and think of her. I was with her when she passed and that day still seems so recent to me. We were bringing her back on air ambulance and I remember just watching her breathing. I think I knew before the nurse did that she had passed. It was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with in my life but I know that she is in a better place. I really wish that she could be here with us today but for some reason she was taken from all of us way too soon. I know that she would be very proud of me and how I am dealing with things in my life. I also know that she would be a very proud and amazing great grandma to A. But at least I can say that I KNOW she is one of the angels that watches over him….
It was one year ago today that my little man came home to stay from the hospital! I cannot believe that a year has gone by already. He came home weighing 9lbs5oz and is now 20lbs! Here is him one year ago leaving the hospital…
And here is him tonight with his daddy…
So as you can gather from the pictures he is home. Long story short, they never know what is going on with him and I find it pointless for him to sit in a hospital that is full of germs and many other things that I don’t want him catching. If they aren’t going to do anything then he might as well be home.
I have to say that our experience again this time at Guelph was good. Taking him into a packed emergency room was nerve racking for me but once we did the whole triage ordeal they just took us right back. I still cannot believe how good they are about realizing how susceptible he is and then Mac who deals with preemies makes us sit outside on the curb with him!
So anyhow, the nurses in the ER and the doctor were also all great. Very friendly, kind and caring. The nurses up on the ped floor were also wonderful. And of course A’s doctor, Promnitz is also wonderful.
I got a great nights sleep thanks to Joyce coming up to the hospital and staying with A. I returned this morning at 7:30am and was happy to see that A was more like himself. Little did I know that he didn’t have a good night at all. Joyce said his movements were crazy and he was very unsettled. She held him to try and get him to sleep and within six minutes (she was timing) he jumped sixteen times. He had also vomited some more formula that she said was partially digested. Ugh I was so frustrated!
After Joyce left at 8am A threw up formula two more times. However I was just told once again that it is viral. What I can’t seem to get through their heads is that Ashton has NEVER thrown up formula in the year that he has had his gj tube. It is impossible to be “normal” when the tube goes past his stomach and into his jejunum! As well, A has had a few viral infections before now and it is just bile that he usually vomits. But what do I know? I’m just the mom who spends 24/7 with this kid….
I decided that since A no longer had a fever, seemed pretty much normal to me and no one listening that I would just bring him home. He threw up formula one more time since coming home and has had three loose poops. I called his GI team and left a message that they need to call me ASAP to get him in. They need to figure out what is going on.
So thank you everyone for all your thoughts and well wishes. And Lisa, thank you! That is the second time in one month that you made me cry!
I really wish that I wasn’t the one making all of the decisions when it comes to A! It would be so nice to find a doctor that could just figure things out. If anyone that reads this has any ideas let me know! At this point I am almost willing to take him anywhere to any doctor!
So that is it for February 23rd. I love you grandma! And A, don’t make this your way of celebrating your homecoming!