Would You Change Your Child? Ugh, SOOO Frustrating!
Well it has been a very interesting day. A didn’t get up until almost 10am and wanted to go back to sleep at about 12:30pm but I had to get him ready to take him to the ped. So things went good there. He got his RSV shot and did so well! He held his breath for about thirty seconds but he didn’t even cry. I talked to his ped about the vomiting and the low grade fever but he didn’t seem too concerned. With A I have learned how difficult it is to get answers on him. I asked him for a prescription for Zantac to add in to possibly help with the reflux a bit more. I really am starting to go crazy with all of the throwing up. The dry heaves and gagging is also taking its toll on me. It is so hard to deal with! I can’t even imagine how A feels when he is the one doing this all of the time. So we will be going back in a month to tell him if there is any difference with the Zantac. I am not too hopeful as it is only an H2 Blocker, but maybe it will give a little more relief. I know that the stuff he has been throwing up for the past month is very acidic because of the smell of it.
Anyhow today was kind of a crazy day on the Internet. There is a lot of talk still going on about what I discussed yesterday. However it has more or less turned into “would you change your child with special needs?” WOW what a debate that has caused! I was reading a blog that I do daily and it was saying basically how people are crazy if they say they wouldn’t change their premature babies life. Then it went on to saying how she hears parents of special needs children say that they wouldn’t change a thing, and she couldn’t understand that.
So I felt that I had to comment. I basically said that I was one of those moms who said that and I meant it. I said that A is who he is and if he were any different than he is now then I wouldn’t be the mom that I am and he wouldn’t be the child that he is.
I went back a while later and there was a comment back saying that she wasn’t disrespecting anyone but she just didn’t get it. Then it said that if I was comfortable watching A in pain then she was happy for me! I couldn’t believe it! I NEVER said anything about seeing him in pain. I said that I wouldn’t change him. Sure I wish I could take the pain he has away but wouldn’t any mom do that if she could?
Next a lady said she wondered if I would be saying the same thing when A is 21 years old. Give me a break! I think that my acceptance with A and his issues has brought me a lot further than some of these moms have EVER come with their child’s disabilities!
So I decided to post a question on the reflux parent group that I am part of. Of course it was directed at the moms with special needs kids. WOW, it sure has had a lot of comments! I would say it is half and half. Very interesting to me…I don’t think badly of anyone that says that they would change their children, so I don’t think it is fair to people to jump all over me about saying that I wouldn’t change a thing.
You know having A at 24 weeks, spending 227 days in the NICU, being in the PICU, finding out he has cerebral palsy, finding out that he is deaf, finding out that his eyes aren’t the greatest, having him on a feeding tube makes him the little boy that he is. This whole ordeal from June 10th 2005 until now has made me the strong mother that I am. I can’t even begin to tell you how much A has changed my life. How different I am as a person. How I look at life SO SO differently now.
Anyhow I think I have rambled on and on enough. I just get so frustrated with topics like this. How many times do I need to say that having a child with special needs is not a bad thing!??!
I am the luckiest mommy in the world to have this gorgeous, happy little miracle!!