The Future For The Special Child….

Well I am happy to say that as of tonight A seemed much more himself. His temperature is still up a little wee bit but not how it was. And that is without giving him any advil all day today. We will be going to the doctor tomorrow for sure! Today when I called I couldn’t get through and then when I did, they were already closed.

Andrea was here for 10am today and stayed until 1pm. Here are a few pictures of the two of them today playing with his toys…

I just wanted to write to all those preemie moms out there who have been talking a lot lately about children with special needs. Lately I have been reading so much on the blogs that I follow about the future with special needs kids, how they will handle it, concerns over whether or not they will get teased, what their life will be like….and then the moms of preemies who aren’t yet old enough to know if anything is wrong.

Anyhow, I wanted to say that I think it is very normal for us to wonder what the future of our children will be like. I believe that every single parent does this at some point or another. When you add in the fact that a child has special needs I think it complicates matters more. There is not one day that goes by where I don’t wonder about what A’s life is going to be like. I also ask myself a lot why this had to happen to him….why he has to go through so much.

I was reading the paper the other day and there was an article on bullying. It was more or less about a web page that two kids had created to talk about bullying and what it has done to them. It is a place for kids to go to see that they are not alone and that there is help out there. Anyhow, it went on to talk about a few incidents in particular and of course one caught my eye. There was a 17year old boy who was saying that he was bullied for almost all of his school years. There was once even a letter sent out to 900 students at his school making fun of him! But what made my heart drop was the fact that the email made fun of him because he had cerebral palsy. It brought tears to my eyes. Even writing this here and thinking about it makes me teary eyed.

I cannot even imagine what I would do as a mom if someone was to do this with A. The sad part is, is that most of these kids that are bullied are afraid to tell anyone and their parents usually never know.

Teasing, bullying…whatever you want to call it comes down to parenting. I believe that kids are afraid of people who are “different”. Their parents don’t talk to them about things like this in life, and really why would they when they don’t deal with it? I think it makes it even harder because there are even so many adults that are “afraid” of people with special needs. I just wish that at this day in age special needs kids, teenagers and adults could be treated with the respect that they deserve. Do people not realize that people with special needs are that way because of some sort of trauma, prematurity, alcoholic mothers, drug users…they don’t choose to be that way. This makes it even more difficult for me to handle.

I notice the stares a lot of times even now when I am out with A. It is much better than before because he isn’t on oxygen, but with the glasses and hearing aids I can tell people are looking for that reason. Mind you, most of them are saying “awww” as they walk by. How could they not? My little man is adorable! I wonder what it is going to be like in five years…ten years…

Anyhow what I guess I am getting at, is that it is totally okay and normal to worry about the future for our “special” kids. And to the preemie moms who worry about the what ifs and how they would do it, all I have to say is that you will do it! I know it is so hard to think of but when something comes up you have nothing else to do but handle it.

I’ll be the first to admit how hard it is to hear one thing after the other. First the cerebral palsy, then that he is deaf, then that he can’t see well….it is so hard sometimes! I think what makes everything so much easier on me than some other moms that I know is because I have always known in my heart that A would be “special”. I was never really surprised to hear anything that I have heard. A is perfect to me (and a lot of others!) and I would not change one thing about him. He has made me the happiest mommy in the world!

That makes me think of one more point that I want to make. I read on another blog…a mom saying how she hopes that her kids won’t be disappointed that she decided to save them instead of letting them go. Our special kids will not even know that they are special kids if we raise them the way we would any other child! Take a look at A…he is one of the happiest kids that I have EVER seen, and this is not being said because he is mine!

Anyhow I think that is enough for now…I am sure that I will have more to add to this at a later date.


2 responses

  1. Miracles

    I have read a lot of this as well lately. I think because I have worked around special needs individuals, I developed an understanding for them early on.One thing is for sure, they themselves don’t want to be treated any different then the next person. It’s up to us(parents) to teach our kids to accept everyone. This is just my opinion but I think that children today are mainly taught to respect other cultures/races. But what about the kids they go to school with who don’t walk the way they do? or talk the way they do? I know that as a parent, I am going to make sure that my kids are brought up knowing that everyone is different, but that doesn’t mean they have to be treated different. Hopefully if I get this message across to them, they just might be one of the kids in the school yard or on the playground who stands up for another kid who is being bullied. As far as a parent thinking that they should not have gone ahead with treatment for their child because of situations that might arise in the future, I was shocked to read this as well.It is parent’s like this who really need a reality check. There child made it, they are here and alive. Everybody assumes they are going to have the perfect pregnancy. I have come to realize that if you do go to term without any complications you hit the jack pot. There’s a lot more that can happen other than prematurity. Women & men need to realize this before they go and sign up for it.I just wish these mother’s would start to appreciate what they have been given.

    March 15, 2007 at 3:54 am

  2. Miracles

    I was rambling on so much I forgot to mention little Ashton. I changed my mind Shannon, the picture of him relaxing with his pillow, is now my favorite!! TOO CUTE

    March 15, 2007 at 4:00 am

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